Son of the devil

Now all that might sound horrible, but this film is also very pretty and at moments fucking hilarious. Director Meadows first captures the beauty of the country side; its simplicity, naivete and then corrupts it with the brutal killings. Trust me when I say this, but while you’re watching, you will feel sorry for the bad guys who are really just a bunch of stupid menboys with nothing else better than to attack the village retard.

Richaaarrrd, are we there yet?

The surprise, panic and hopelessness of the men make you fear Richard just as much as they do. He becomes the devil collecting the lives of the men who have sinned against him by killing his helpless brother. And then just like that, Meadows puts you back in the shoes of Richard. Stunning.

The main event begins

Same sci-fi fans cannot stomach this movie as it definitely has a strong horror presence in it, they say it’s ‘icky and ‘gross’ which is accurate. If you remember the scene in Silence of the Lambs where Dr Lector leaves a beautiful human installation for the police to find, well, there is a similar but less grandiose scene in this movie. And yes, this movie is quite high on the ‘gross’ meter.

No, it's not the Matrix, those are very sophisticated space-age panels designed by Dr William Weir

The story goes like this. The Event Horizon possesses a core that enables the ship to fold time and space creating a TK in to another dimension. It’s been there, done that and has come back with something very evil. The crew lead by Captain Miller (Fishburne) is being held captive by the ship as they struggle to find a way out of its grasp. The good doctor and inventor of the ship played by Sam Neill, is stricken by the God complex, or in this case, Devil is wants to pilot Horizon in to the depths of space hell. The plot may seem ridiculous, actually it is. But the sheer about of possibilities in the movie alone is enough to make me wonder about shit. The ending looks spectacular along with a few other beautiful and haunting shots of the ship. Those who scream easily be prepared, there are certain scenes in this movie that are truly gruesome, truly. Now fasten your seat belts and come aboard.

The heart of the beast

'Hello my name is Scar, nice to meat you.'

What could be better than watching a bunch of fit women maneuver a labyrinth of tunnels all the while being preyed on by creatures indigenous to the cave? Yes OK so there could be other things better but as a movie, this one has got all you need. The premise is simple really; Sarah loses her husband and child in a tragic motor collision. A year later and fully recovered, she reunites with fellow friends and adventure seekers. Six girls of completely different characters and personas but with one thing in common, they share the amazing strength and agility for extreme sport. Upon entering the cave, they uncover their greatest fears, enemies, strengths and destiny.

A little too close for comfort

Besides being entertained I learnt two lessons in surviving a cave; never confuse daylight with phosphorous stone and when in doubt use the flickering of a flame as an indication of which tunnel to choose. One of the most amazing shots in the film is toward the end when Sarah – after slicing and dicing – climbs toward daylight on a mountain of soil and polished human remains. The best shot could possibly be the last frame which initially leaves you cold and then warmer.

She ain't no Carrie and all Hack, Cassie Hack

Some of my favourite lines in the movie; ‘

Boreham Caves, more like boredom caves’

You make it look easy’. ‘Well yeah, you make it look hard!‘

‘Im an English Teacher, not Tomb Raider’

Retracing the tracks of Simon

I had no idea this movie was based on a book titled ‘Simple Simon’, not that it makes any difference in this review, it does however sound like an interesting read. The film opens with a hostage situation at a bank, Bruce Willis is dressed as one of the bad guys. Willis is an undercover agent, one of the best, he’s seen talking to a young boy – probably in his teens – persuading him to drop this charade and surrender. It’s a family run robbery and two young boys get killed before Willis had the chance to clear the area. A burning memory of the boy dying haunts him. Forgettable in my opinion, the movie has yet to begin.

Next chapter and the bell tolls, you see woman approaching The Chicago Neuropyschiatric Learning Centre wearing a badge, not a police badge something else. She holds in her hand a copy of ‘World Of Puzzles’ and looks for Simon, after giving it to him she asks that he join the other children. It is ambiguous as to whether she knew of his talent, ambiguous is good.

We now slowly uncover the plot and motive. Agencies and unheard of agencies are after the same boy. Willis protects him with all his will not knowing how valuable the autistic boy is. No they do not form a special bond while escaping bullets, Willis does however take very good care of him courtesy of John McClane (‘Die Hard’) and the bad guys lose. Alec Baldwin plays a very convincing bad boss man giving out orders but never doing it himself. Lost most big boss men, they fall to their deaths from buildings while Willis watches on with a grin on his face [if they ever attempted a remake of Watchmen, Bruce would make a great Comedian].

Bullshit aside, this is a very entertaining movie with actor Bruce Willis does what he does best and that’s kicking ass with his brains.

You might also be interested in  ‘16 BLOCKS’.

She lives in the Ecological Development Embryonic Charter room

I just finished watching it on DVD and I personally think its pretty fucking awesome. First, the monsters were sleek and pale, not your drooling oozy ones, stood upright much like us. Second, Ben Foster is very fun to watch, he is the one that takes you through the plot. He is also in very good shape and looks really cute crawling through shafts. Third, the film doesn’t over explain itself. It cheats by giving people snippets and perspectives to choose from, but this is a good thing.

Breathe, that's just an oxygen mask on Foster not a 'face-hugger' from 'Aliens'

The way the ship is exposed, you can see how the writers wanted to save on sets and have the right amount to give people an idea of the size and complexity of the ship. There are cargo lockers, a white room with specimens of crickets and plants, a moldy steel prison with a crazy cannibal.  The ship itself looks amazing, there aren’t many scenes of it but again, just enough to get your imagination going. This film is all about imagination, and like any idea that makes it out of the head, it doesn’t come out totally perfect. There are some bads to this movie, but the goods be smokin’

Holy Elysium! A rendering by jamajurabaev.deviantart.com

Hats off to director Tomas Alfredson

This Swedish movie lacks the romanticism of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, the teenybopper appeal of Twilight and the action-packed sequences ofUnderworld. But this is a good thing; the film’s barren landscapes and lingering shots are all it needs to haunt audiences. And we praise director Tomas Alfredson for having crafted one of the most memorable films about a vampire in love.

Best friends forever till death do us part

Eli (Leandersson) is a 12-year-old vampire who moves into a new flat in a Stockholm suburb with her caretaker. When she meets Oskar (Hedebrant), a pale blond boy at the mercy of a group of bullies, Eli falls in love. The two exchange tender moments together; when apart, the young girl stalks the streets and feeds on unsuspecting townsfolk. From the sound effects (the actual heartbeats of the child actors) to the locations, the Swedish director keeps it organic and minimal; the few locations used in this film include a desolate snow-covered playground and Eli’s one-bedroom apartment, with its peeling wallpaper and treasures collected over 200 years.

In the film’s most grotesque scenes of dismemberment, Alfredson combines the tenderness of Martin Weisz’s psychological horror film Grimm Love(2006) and the vulnerability of Guillermo del Toro’s dark child fantasy Pan’s Labyrinth (2006). Our personal favourite? The swimming pool scene at the end of the film. If you think you’ve seen one too many coming-of-age films or emo vampire romances, allow Alfredson and co to take you to a new terrain of supernatural love.

The last action hero

Jack Mosley, once a proud detective now covers while waiting for backup. On this morning, Mosley’s just finished his shift but as he quietly exits the building, he is handled a routine assignment. To chaperone a criminal named Eddie Bunker (Mos Def) 16 blocks to give his testimony.

The best thing about this film is its subtlety, from the action sequences to moments of intimate sharing. The relationship between Bunker and Mosley grows naturally as the plot thickens. Police jargon is just enough and not overly used, ‘make a hole’ which is what they say when they need to run through human traffic. And as we learn more about the characters’ past we start caring more about their present. Depending on which version you get, the DVD comes with an alternate ending which in my opinion is just as good as the theatrical release.

'I've got all day' says Detective Frank Nugent

A little slow in the beginning, the pace picks up as soon as the two characters meet. Hot on their heels is Detective Frank Nugent, played well by cute daddy David Morse. And even though he’s the bad guy, you can’t help but appreciate his respect for his opponent. You will see why Mosley was once a celebrated detective, with smarts and reflects unlike any other. You can put the alcohol in the man but you can’t take out the hero in him.

Jack Mosley and Eddie Bunker racing against time

If you enjoy good cops vs bad cops, just enough drama and some comedy and great acting, give 16 Blocks a run. Also Mos Def has an amazing talent for playing a twit.

The director experiments with several cinematic techniques straight out from the wikipedia entry for ‘Cinematic techniques’. A combination of hand-held vignettes, MTV-esque tracking shots and establishing shots.

The reason why this DVD is worth a shot is James Spader. Spader plays Campbell, a cop with baggage and a serial killer who’s more interested in keeping Campbell in his life than the death of his victims. They have a history, Campbell was lead investigator while in LA. Something happened, he moved to Chicago, serial killer moves with him. It sounds like a twisted joke but still you wonder how it’ll end. Unfortunately Keanu Reeves is unable to help you with your journey and drops you cold. The only character you cling on to is Campbell. So now all your energy is invested in him.

The original man in black

There wasn’t a single proper killing scene, the soundtrack a mish-mash of trip hop and TK and the script was bad. The only good thing about this film other than The Spader is its pace. Simple and quick, the movie will be over before you know it. So to sum the experience up – Pros: James Spader, no-brainer film, Keanu Reeves Cons: Keanu Reeves, boring script and lazy screenplay.

Here's looking at you

The token funny black man giving a commentary about America and its favourite sport ‘American Football’. The actions beings, a heist is about to take place. It looks big and serious. It is big and serious. The thieves hit straight for the safety deposit boxes and finds a…  A very exciting beginning complete with dirty cops and car chases but still no sign of Murphy or Michael.

Music by Mark Isham and you’re introduced to Douglas’ character – a therapist –  who has the hottest wife played by Famke Janssen and then we see a dead body floating in the river. Michael is taken out of his oak office and put into a steel mental asylum where he meets the beautiful and haunting Elisabeth Burrows (Murphy).

I'm the good doctor now where's my patient?

‘I’ll never tell, I’ll never tell any of you, any of you’ is the first introduction to Burrows. A girl with a secret, a secret so important that it needed the Big Hoo Haa at the beginning of the film to establish its worth. Murphy on the other hand captures you the minute you see her frail and manipulated body. While all this is happening, dead bodies are floating on rivers. We started with three narratives and now two. The girl has a secret the thief needs and there is a serial killer on the lose that kills with his bare hands. This investigation is led by Detective Sandra Cassidy played by the very attractive Jennifer Esposito.

Smart, engaging, a great cast and believable reactions. Action, pathology, love ones at stake a perfect combi for any DVD junkie.

EXCELLENT SOUNDTRACK:

Heart racing rhythmic drums